Seat squeezing and assorted aviation pastimes

South African Airways squeeze face. No Knee attacker yet, but wait…

Some airlines are reconsidering the whole idea of allowing seats to be lowered after numerous incidents of air rage involving passengers squashed into an area the size of a Houdini escape box.

Thankfully, some airlines have realised that this is no longer acceptable. I mean having a passenger drop their seat back so that you are pinned into an even smaller area, viz the Houdini analogy. Delta Airlines in the USA has decided that the distance a setback will be allowed to travel should be cut by half. That means instead of 4 inches, the setback will drop 2.

Very good. I like flying FlySafair because it does not allow its seats to be lowered which immediately causes friction between the thoughtless twit in front. So often in the past few years I’ve had to deal with males (almost exclusively) who seem to find it funny firing their seat backwards into your solar plexus.

In a flight to Cape Town a few years ago, the twit ahead of me actually pinned my body into my seat and I was forced to push their seat forwards. He pretended not to notice but I slowly used my knees to force his seat back to the upright position.

The game had begun. Would he escalate? He tried to but each time he lowered the seat, my well trained knees pushed back holding it upright. Eventually he gave up.

Now what I do is setup my knees at a certain angle, beyond which no seat shall pass. It’s very useful and the person gives up quite quickly believing their seat recline function is not functioning. Then everyone is happy and on we go.

The pastime known as seat fighting is surely one of the more onerous exercises to conduct in consumer class. First Class members don’t snigger, because Delta is also going to restrict the distance your seats recline too. They’re going to limit the backslide from just over 5 inches to just over 3.


Aviation seats are becoming smaller and smaller while passengers are growing fatter and fatter. So this has led to increased friction between people who are forced into these tiny little seats. And then the person in front reclines their seat and shatters your knees.
Knee Defenders – they look like boxing gloves.

Another aviation past time we know and love is the arm rest wrestle. It’s a very simple rule. The middle seat gets to choose to use the arm rests. The window and aisle seats have second bite at the arm rest cherry. It’s all about proper manners, people. The poor sod who found him/herself bracketed by two blokes with large stomachs and fat butts have first right of reply when it is the arm rest.

Back to Delta, it has begun to retrofit its 62 Airbus A320 jets to reduce the seat recline from 10cm to 5cm. First class goes from 14cm to 9cm.

I’ve always liked flying Delta. This is one more reason why.

Here’s a list of other airlines that no longer allow seats to recline:

  • Spirit Airlines
  • Ryanair
  • Norwegian
  • easyJet

If you’re really in the game, then purchase plastic “knee defenders” which can be picked up from the nearest cheap and lousy aircraft kit supplier.

Not sure if the person in the seat in front likes the idea of having your curtain around their setback.

If you’re into privacy, then the B-tourist Strip is for you. A blanket that turns into a curtain which hooks around your seat and keeps prying eyes away from your laptop/breasts.

Trump’s neutered FAA partly to blame for Boeing MAX8 catastrophe

The FAA System Handbook principles of safety effort graphic that compares cost to effort in order to save the most lives in the most cost effective manner.
The FAA Cost vs Safety graph – was it used properly when assessing Boeing MAX 8 sensor failure?

The twin crashes of Boeing 737 MAX 8 aircraft have pointed a very bright spotlight directly on the Federal Aviation Authority along with the world’s biggest aviation company.

And rightly so. While 2017 was free of commercial airliner crashes, only two major accidents have occurred since that year – and both involved Boeing MAX 8s.

In October 2018 the Lion Air crash that claimed 189 lives near Jakarta Indonesia and on March 10 an Ethiopian Airlines crash ET302 that killed 157 just outside Addis Ababa.

Just to put this in perspective, no other commercial aircraft has been implicated in as many deaths so rapidly since 1966.

Since the second accident which appears to have been waiting to happen, all Boeing MAX 8 and 9 aircraft have been grounded, and some airlines have begun to cancel orders. That is a real problem for Boeing. Over 360 are now being used by Airlines across the world, including almost 100 in China alone.

In the days of yore, we would hear about a Russian disaster every few months, now, nada. Nothing. Just two American-built planes gyrating shortly after takeoff, their pilots grappling with an automated system they weren’t told about. What a singularly terrifying experience for the few minutes they had left in life, trying to problem solve clinging onto a bucking bronco.

There is a flood of speculation about the cause, the horizontal stabiliser trim going rogue courtesy of a misreading sensor, about the Manoeuvring Characteristics Augmentation System (MCAS), pilot training and 737 MAX 8 certification.


Perhaps we should fixate on the issue which is directly before us: A lack of FAA Director. And because there’s only an Acting Director, there is only an Acting Administrator. This is damaging to flight safety despite what the FAA will say, and the fault lies directly at Donald Trump’s door.

He has failed to install a full-time Director at the FAA preferring instead to hesitate by announcing an Acting Director. Now Dan Elwell may be a superb Airline lobbyist, and a former captain at American Airlines, but he is not the full-time leader of that Agency or else he would have been installed as such. Ditto Carl Burleson who’s technically the second in command. Also acting.

Both are symbols in a cypher-filled world.

Like other agencies, Trump has played politics with people’s lives and in this case, it’s no different. Instead of understanding that leaders are crucial to a proper functioning independent system, he prefers the logic of Mussolini – install a man (probably) who will nod in unison to his demands of loyalty before sanity. Keep ’em guessing. Hahahahaha. “I’ll get around to nominating my puppet when I feel like it…”

Aviation is the one sector where game playing is tantamount to playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded AK47. Trump has been doing just that.

This is not speculation. The FAA last had a full-time director in January 2018. We aviators awaited the new leader of one of the most respected international agencies, which has built its name on a value system around safety that virtually no other can emulate. But in vain. And since then it has committed a gross act of administrative amateurism and been eclipsed in decision-making by the Chinese, the EU and even South Africa’s Comair which pulled its Boeing Max8s before the FAA eventually and begrudgingly agreed to do so.

Ironically because Boeing said so, following a Trump Tweet.


The result is the FAA failed to process Boeing’s request for an urgent certification of new software in January 2019 following the Lion Air Crash in Indonesia that killed 139 people in October 2018. That’s because the Agency was hamstrung by the government shutdown, caused by a president who ignored his own advisors and refused to sign an extension of spending deal because he didn’t get money for a wall.

That is a bit like a baby throwing its toys out of a moving aircraft directly at the people walking across a tightrope at 37 000 feet.

I don’t care for American politics much, it’s a place that appears to be a step away from full-blooded violence. In its place is a media civil war between the Democrats led by people like CNN, and Republicans led by people like Fox. Attend any dinner in America these days and you’ll hear both sides quote their favourite “facts” about why the other side is conspiring in some way or other. Both are dripping in diatribe and distastefully biased, dumbed down, feckle-minded and draped in self-indulgence. It’s like watching dogs with down syndrome.

But what really has happened is that authority has been destroyed as Trump allowed the FAA to wallow in a kind of blind holding pattern.

While the speculation around airlines not purchasing redundancy, their MAX 8 simulators missing the crucial MCAS training software (upgrade to follow FAA/Boeing getting a wriggle on), the fact that in both crashes the First Officers were far less experienced than is usually the case (a few hundred hours total flying time), and a failure to laterally think, it really is about how the hell did the FAA pass Boeing’s new plane as good to go for pilots just to read a few pages on an iPad?

I find this shocking, and there is no way around this moment, folks.

Why did the FAA basically allow Boeing in 2016/17 to conduct its own safety audit of the new system? Why did Boeing cycle through a few senior staff who warned that the MCAS could lead to a Catastrophic result if redundancy was not ensured by duplicating sensors? Eventually they found senior staff who were willing sign their names alongside the phrase “Hazardous” when the safety handbook outlined the threat as “Catastrophic”?

The FAA published a handbook in 2000 outlining what is the cost of safety versus a hazard analysis. Here is the safety section.

Table 3.2.2 of the Severity Definitions for FAA AMS Process. Someone really screwed up here by citing the Boeing 737 MAX8 sensor failure as “hazardous” when it was actually “Catastrophic”.

Why was this not used by the FAA? It preferred to take Boeing at its word?


Let me expound. As a pilot of Cirrus SR20 and SR22 aircraft, I am not in the world of Commercial Aviation, I’m a General Aviation pilot. What professionals call the pilot of a “piss cat”. These cats that wee, however, can surprise even the best of ATPL trained 10 000 hour wonk. That’s why some of my friends who fly airlines, also fly .. piss cats.

It keeps you alert, makes you think, gives you real stick feel for how an aircraft is responding. Makes you lateral when all about you are literal. And the more computers you get, the more literal you get.

Recently a new Garmin 1000 SR22 was introduced to the bunch of planes for rent at a hangar I fly from, and I dutifully signed up for a conversion. This was a 2 hour minimum conversion because of two main reasons.

  1. The Garmin 1000 is a tricky beast when you’ve used Avidyne Avionics and Garmin 430s.
  2. The new Cirrus has an automated roll recovery installed.

It’s point 2 that I want to explain. And it’s one of the reasons why the FAA and Boeing are now in a spot of bother. Cirrus is safety obsessed as their airplanes are slippery beasts when everything is high and hot. IF you get the numbers wrong, you’ll incipient spin into the deck at low altitude.

So I had to take off and fly the Cirrus with Garmin 1000, and do a beyond steep turn passed 60 degrees, to feel the crazy sensation of a plane pulling you back to safe and level EVEN THOUGH THE AUTOPILOT WAS DISCONNECTED.

I was truly shocked and amazed. I asked the instructor where I could switch off this automation and he said proudly

“You can’t”

“What happens” I said “If I’m flying straight and level and because of a sensor misread or software malfunction, it suddenly decides to turn me to the right or left believing I’m in a turn too steep?”

“It won’t happen” he said.

I made a mental note to approach other instructors in future when conducting further training.

Since that conversation I look askance at the aforementioned Cirrus, while flying it I’m always aware that the plane may decide to take over my flying duties without my permission.

The reason why I do so is because it has a CAPS system – a rocket that fires a parachute out of the top of empennage that will save my life if the plane decides to be stupid. I have a redundancy to cover the eventuality that the computer on board goes rogue, thus I will continue to fly the Cirrus with Garmin1000 and automatic roll recovery and deploy ‘chute where necessary.

Unfortunately for the pilots on board both Boeing MAX 8s – no-one had a parachute.

Two Boeing 737 MAX crashes an ominous sign for the company

Ethiopian Airlines ET302 accident site.

A Boeing 737 MAX operated by Ethiopian Airlines, flight number ET302 has crashed shortly after take off from Addis Ababa airport killing all 157 on board.

The initial reports sound ominous for Boeing. While it’s far too early to talk about the cause, it’s not too early to talk about the second time the same type of aircraft has crashed in similar circumstances.

The accident is similar to last year’s crash of a Lion Air jet that plunged into the Java Sea in October 2018, killing all 189 people on board. These two crashes involved the Boeing MAX 8 aircraft. The Seattle based manufacturer is working with investigators in the Lion Air matter.

Boeing was forced into a speedy production process when Airbus announced its new Airbus A320neo family of aircraft with improved fuel burn and operating efficiency. It took six year between 2011 and 2017 for Boeing to redesign, build and gain certification from the FAA for its new 737’s.

As usual the testing process was comprehensive. For example the Boeing MAX’s were put through 2,000 flight hours as well as three hours of ETOPS testing.

Three thousand simulated simulated flight cycles were conducted and at first there were a few problems with the engines. For one, they were delivered late by manufacturer CFM International. It was a joint venture between GE Aviation and Safran Aircraft Engines, a division of Safran of France.

The first delivery was a MAX 8 was to Malindo Air, a subsidiary of Lion Air in May 2017. Just over a year later, the Java crash occurred.

Source: Wikipedia

Norwegian Air also flies the MAX 8, and after a one year of service, 130 of these redesigned planes had been delivered to 28 airlines or customers and logged over 41 000 flights in 118 000 hours – flying over 6.5 million passengers.

After 2017’s spotless aviation record with no major aviation crashes, things changed on October 29, 2018 when Lion Air Flight 610 plunged into the sea 13 minutes after take off from Soekarno-Hatta International Airport in Jakarta, Indonesia.

This was the first crash involving a 737 MAX, and the aircraft was only delivered two months before the accident.

Afterwards, Boeing issued a safety bulletin advising airlines about how they should approach the automated systems which are now thought to have caused the Lion Air crash.

The FAA also issued an emergency airworthiness directive followed quickly by Boeing’s update for flight crew operations. The company said there could be a fault in the aircraft’s angle of attack system that could cause the aircraft to violently pitch nose down. What terrifies pilots is that this could even occur AFTER the automatic pilot was switched off and pilots were hand-flying the aircraft.

Ethiopian Airlines Flight ET302 path

Sensors in the aircraft apparently caused false data to be fed to the aircraft’s computer system, leading to it taking over the flight controls from a pilot even after he or she switched off the automated systems. The data erroneously reported that the plane had entered a stall, when in fact it was flying faster than the stall speed and the wings were not stalled at all.

This is catastrophic for aviators when faced with a threat at low altitude. You just don’t have time to press all the buttons, and I really feel for the pilots in both aircraft it it is indeed proven that the automatic system caused these crashes. It now appears that the electric stabiliser trim is what could have been pushed forward – and flight crews are told to switch these off when they hand-fly the plane.

Switching to manual trim is always the best way to fly, but in today’s busy cockpit perhaps in both instances the captain and first officer were concentrating and may have not had time to switch off the electric trims.

There are more similarities. Ethiopian Airlines 737 MAX had only been delivered four months ago.

A Chandler holds no candle to SAA’s William

William Chandler is his name, fakery is his game. Or at least that’s according to South African Airlines in a statement issued on Friday 1 March 2019.

While the official holder of a Commercial Pilot’s license, those who wish to fly airlines must be in possession of something much more impressive – an Airline Transport Pilot’s License or ATPL.

“It is an SAA requirement that all pilots obtain an ATPL license within five years of their employment as pilots at SAA,” an airline spokesperson said.

“This is linked to Senior First Officer status and forms part of their conditions of employment as regulated in the SAA Pilots Regulating Agreement. Any pilot failing to obtain this license, will have their employment terminated with the airline.”

That rather officious comment belies the seriousness of the offense. After clocking up thousands of hours as a First Officer starting in 1994, he refused an offer of a major promotion in 2005. That would have exposed him as he would have had to hand over his ATPL certificate – which he does not have.

Fortunately for thousands of passengers, they survived flying with a measly commercial pilot, but unfortunately for Chandler – he must now repay the millions of rands in perks he received from the airline. Not to mention he faces charges of fraud at the very least.

But the story worsens, as this man apparently was the First Officer at the controls and monitoring Flight SA206 between OR Tambo International to Frankfurt in Germany in November 2018.

Something went badly wrong or his actions apparently caused one of the other pilots, possibly the Captain, to report him.

The threat two passengers was minimal, as Chandler had clocked many hours flying the various aircraft SAA uses – and had recently passed a number of tests and checks.

So he can fly alright, but the problem is he is not supposed to fly airliners. The major problem for the airline is had he been involved in a much more serious incident involving passengers – insurance and other problems would have arisen.

A Chandler, for those who don’t know, is a person who makes candles for a living.

Here is a definition

“A chandler was the head of the chandlery in medieval households, responsible for wax, candles, and soap. Chandler may also refer to: Candlemaker or chandler, an occupation. Ship chandler, a dealer in special supplies or equipment for ships.”

Perhaps Mr Chandler will now consider this a future profession as he finds ways to pay back the money.

Emiliano Sala reportedly on board Piper Malibu that disappeared

A Piper Malibu – similar to the plane Emiliano Sala was reportedly traveling in when it went missing on the evening of 21st January 2019.

At exactly 20.23 on the 21st January 2019 Guernsey Coastguard received an alert from the island’s ATC that a light aircraft had disappeared off their radar 15 miles north of Guernsey.

The terrible report has been followed up by Welsh football club Cardiff City which issued a statement saying they have ‘genuine concerns’ over the safety of their new record signing, Emiliano Sala.

From mid-morning on the 22nd, two helicopters, two planes and one lifeboat were reportedly searching for any sign of the missing plane.

It is thought to be a Piper Malibu P-46T, which is a single engined turbo-propellor driven aircraft which had reportedly taken off from Nantes in France and was flying to Cardiff in Wales.

Two people were on board according to French officials, Sala and the pilot.

A search model has been created based on the likely ditching location and an intense search is now underway.

The weather conditions after the disappearance worsened rapidly, but it is believed the aircraft was flying at 5000 feet and following VFR rules. After passing Guernsey the pilot reportedly asked ATC for permission to descend, then contact was lost as it flew around 2300 feet.

That is low flying in anyone’s book. What was a multimillion dollar sportsperson doing in a plane flying so low?

French journalists have confirmed that Sala was seen walking through border control in Nantes and it is believed he was on board the Malibu. Some hacks have described the aircraft as a private jet, but it isn’t. It’s a turboprop.

Nantes to Cardiff likely route – ignore the time it’s Google offering a flight via a small plane.

Cardiff City, known as the Blues, unveiled their new fifteen million euro Argentinian player only last week, and he had returned to France after Saturday’s announcement with a view to flying back to Cardiff last night.

Other pilots flying a similar route report some icing around 3000 – 5000 feet and wind shear between 2000 feet and 2500 feet. However it was not deemed dangerous. Clouds were reported at 5000 – 6000 feet, well below the level the Malibu was believed to be operating.

The search continues.

UPDATE: Tuesday 5 February

Piper Malibu N264DB

A body has been spotted in the wreckage of a plane carrying Cardiff City footballer Emiliano Sala which was discovered in the English Channel after a short search.

The Piper Malibu N264DB disappeared on 21 January en route between Nantes in France to Cardiff in Wales with the Argentine striker on board.

The only other person aboard the Piper was the pilot David Ibbotson.

Marine Scientist David Mearns assisted the Sala family and said the aircraft had been located off Guernsey on Sunday.

On Sunday February 3rd 2019, Mearns posted tweets including one which said “The families of Emiliano Sala and David Ibbotson have been notified by police.”

He was referring to the discovery of a substantial portion of the plane wreckage. A submersible UAV craft was sent to inspect the wreckage and afterwards officials said that a body had been seen in footage.

But they would not be drawn into any further comment.

Cardiff City football had signed Sala for a record of £15m and he was due to start training at the end of January.


South Africa’s Space Weather coup eclipsed by Schweizer-Reneke

South Africa scored a major scientific coup on Monday 14th January 2019, but it appears the Hacks of Habit aka local media thought stories about DJs being naked or some kids in a classroom were more important.

Now don’t get me wrong, the Schweizer-Reneke story about four black kids perched at the back of the class separate and unequal is unforgivable.

At the same time, it was also a useful distraction for habitual Hacks who apparently think science stories are far too complex to think about while contorting yourselves into whirling pools of screaming self-righteousness.

And how shareable on social media to boot? So many media outlets happily shared the picture, although it was quite clear those in the picture were far too young to be scrutinised. Technically this broke the Media Code, but that’s another story.

A quick scan of local media headlines on the day showed just how utterly landlubbered and bereft of imagination these gatekeepers of self-importance were. The only real coverage was on ITWEB, some government websites and Engineering News.

That was about it for headlines.

The rest thundered off into an intellectual dead-end, trying to outdo each other to get exclusives about a story that everyone already had so that the huffing and puffing lower middle class could exhaust itself and its expensive data exchanging redundancies on the social media platform of choice.

How pathetically South African.

The North West town is named after a Swiss man called Reneke by the way.

The hullabaloo overshadowed a moment of national interest. The really important story on Monday was the one about the South African National Space Agency (SANSA) being selected by the International Civil Aviation Organisation (ICAO) to become the designated regional provider of space weather information to the entire aviation sector in Africa. Almost a billion people. Forget Schweizer-Reneke and its Swissness, population “a few”.

This is much bigger news for South Africa than a North West junior school, but it involves real science and therefore the average South African editor is immediately, and apparently, disadvantaged.

SANRA’s windfall is our national pride, people. It means all aircraft flying anywhere across Africa will now rely on SANSA for space weather information.

All pilots know that the usual terrestrial weather systems are crucial to being able to take-off and land. Also crucial, is the various radio/radar/GPS/GNSS systems on board that allow pilots to navigate and communicate.

SANSA is to partner with one of the ICAO’s three global space weather centres, Pan-European Consortium for Aviation Space Weather User Services or PECASUS. The only other is controlled by Russia and China which may decide to use the information, let’s just say, not in the interests of science in Africa.

PECASUS falls under ICAO, the international Aviation organisation. The Department of Science and Technology issued a statement about this on Sunday afternoon which trumpeted the advantages for the country.

“South Africa’s designation as a regional space weather information provider will grow the science, engineering, technology and innovation sector, offering opportunities to develop scarce skills and increase national research output, while ensuring that usable products are generated from the knowledge,” it said.

SANSA open day.

Space weather can be pretty grim. Huge surges in sunspot activity send radio waves streaming out across the solar system, hammering earth. These can be extremely violent.

These were first really understood many years ago, in 1859. That’s when an amateur astronomer called Richard Carrington climbed up into the loft of his country estate, opened the dome and pointed his telescope at the sun.

He was keeping tabs on large sun spots, when suddenly two gave off what he called “… intensely bright and white light” and after five minutes they vanished.

That night, telegraph communications across the world failed. Sparks were reported from some, others set papers on fire and auroras were experienced all over the nighttime sky, glowing brightly. Birds woke up believing it was dawn these were so bright.

This was known as the ‘Carrington Event’.

In 1972, a similar event knocked out AT&T systems in the USA and led to the company redesigning its entire subsea cable operation. In March 1989, a powerful solar flare set off power blackout in Canada that left six million people without electricity.

Then in 2000, the Bastille Day event occurred – July 14th to be exact. This registered X5 on the solar flare scale (yes there is one) and caused satellites to short circuit, while some radio stations stopped broadcasting.

Then in October 2003 our nearest star (yes, the sun) unleashed a hefty uppercut across the solar system. This made the Bastille Day event seem insignificant. The spacecraft measuring flares blew up, and eventually all sensors topped out at X28, but later it appeared the flare actually reached a peak strength of X45.


So you begin to appreciate South Africa’s importance in aviation. We are the only country in Africa with space weather capabilities, so it makes sense for SANSA and PECASUS to work together for the good of aviation on the continent.

“The country’s space science programme is feeding the knowledge economy and placing the national system of innovation at the centre of South Africa’s developmental agenda,” the department added. 

Just in case you think this space weather thing is not serious, a note from my Aviation files will serve as a warning.

“Space weather refers to the conditions on the Sun and in the solar wind, magnetosphere, ionosphere, and thermosphere that can influence the performance and reliability of space-borne and ground-based technological systems and can endanger human life or health.”

Modern aviation now relies on flights over the Arctic, whereas during the Cold War, China and Russia did not. But Space Weather affects the poles far more than anywhere else, so it’s even more important to watch this phenomenon now. At the same time, each burst of energy from the sun can impact the earth based on when these electromagnetic rays strike the globe.

The effects include loss of HF radio transmission and satellite navigation signals, navigation system disruptions and general avionics errors. Flight planning includes space weather for a reason.

So as you prepare for your next flight over the equator and into Europe or Dubai, to catch the next flight out to San Francisco, consider the work SANSA will be doing with PECASUS and NOAA.

Makes me proud.

Fully armed Lt Wilson lowers himself onto HMS Queen Elizabeth

Lt. Wilson ©Royal Navy 

The Hawker Siddeley Harrier, developed in the 1960s, is the first of the Harrier Jump Jet series of aircraft that could land vertically. But since then it has taken half a century longer to land one of these vertical takeoff aircraft on an aircraft carrier fully loaded with all its weapons without hovering alongside. I’ll explain. 

SpaceX is landing its booster rockets back aboard floating launch pads, so what’s the big deal you ask? I suppose it’s a saving at the same time as being a wondrous piece of flying. To land a plane vertically on a heaving deck of a ship while fully armed with missiles and fuel totalling 2,000 pounds is what the big  deal is all about.

Previously, the Hawker would have to jettison its payload before landing by a different method, hovering alongside the aircraft carrier.  That could see hundreds of thousands of dollars being dropping into the sea if it hadn’t fired off its inventory, never mind the environmental impact over the years. 

But the other big difference is that the old fashioned Hawkers would approach the ship very much as a helicopter, hover alongside, crab over the landing area, then touch down. 

Russia developed a Shipborne Rolling Vertical Landing (SRVL), but it required deck nets, which is not the same as an aircraft flying to a halt using brakes on board a heaving deck. Still, the Yak-38 “Forger” became operational with the Soviet Navy in the early 1970s and had a few technical issues. One was its incredibly high fuel consumption which reduced range after being flown vertically. While it technically achieved the SRVL, the use of nets meant it was not a true example of an autonomous landing. Nets are another form of cable which catch the plane as it arrives at normal landing speed.  

Yak-38 ©US Navy 

The SRVL technique is far more difficult. The aircraft hovers behind the ship, then lands straight down the deck using its own brakes instead of dropping and flying at a measly 60 knots. Most general aviation aircraft are close to stalling at this speed, it is really slow. 

F-35B’s thrust vectoring nozzle and lift fan ©Wikipedia

The physics required and the skill to achieve this has taken more than 25 years of planning to get right. It’s taken longer to plan and carry out this landing than it took NASA to plan and conduct the latest Mars Landing called InSight. 

And for codgers flying about like me, this story is motivational. That’s because the United States Civil Air Patrol was involved, which features mainly retired pilots who continue to fly on various duties for the nation. 

CAP Maryland Wing 2nd Lt. Peter Wilson is the hero of this story, and his tale is fascinating. He was flying the Lockheed Martin F-35B Joint Strike Fighter and landed on the deck of the British aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth. What he achieved was fairly simple in terms of the goal. The land the F-35B straight down the runway, without a wire and hook, and carrying more than 2,000 pounds of weapons and fuel. It was fully loaded.

Lockheed Martin F-35B 

Lieutenant Wilson has been directly involved in training for this one landing since 2006. That’s when he and his family moved from the UK to Texas to be closer to the Lockheed Martin aircraft factory. They moved again to Maryland to be near the Pax River Naval Air Station.

But he started working on the project even before training formally started. For over twenty years he’s worked as a test pilot for BAE systems, and much of his time at the company has been focused on achieving the feat of a SRVL.

So on October 14 2018, he donned his kit, climbed aboard the F-35B which was fully fuelled and armed, took off in the usual way (being slung into the heavens), then flew back to the HMS Queen Elizabeth and landed on deck without a cable, braked, stopped. Wiped sweat from his brow. 

HMS Queen Elizabeth ©Wikipedia

As pilots, we use lights to guide is in for visual landings, they’re called PAPIs. Precision Approach Path Indicator. In the case of Lt Wilson, the PAPIs were a range of lights on board the deck of the HMS Queen Elizabeth.

There are  21 pairs of lights embedded in the ship’s runway centre line, where the pilot sees red lights marking the beginning and end of the touchdown zone. He/She must then aim at a single pair of white lights that show them where to land on the heaving deck. As the bow rises, the lights move further forward, as it falls, they move further back.  

The view from Lt Wilson’s aircraft of the light array on board HMS Queen Elizabeth. 

After Wilson landed, a second test pilot flew off and completed the same test successfully. The UK is now working on making this process operational which could save the Navy millions of dollars over the next few years as it flights Vertical aircraft into missions. 

A Focke-Wulf in Vespa clothing

Screenshot 2018-12-04 at 17.14.53
The magnificent P149 I flew on 21 October 2008 – now converted to non-type certified ZU-FWP.

I once flew a Focke-Wulf Piaggio D149. Yes, it was one of the more memorable flights and yet, was also one of the shortest. A hop from Rand Airport to Lanseria, co-pilot aboard the Piaggio D149 FWP, licensed and produced by Focke-Wulf of Germany, manufactured in 1953, registration ZS-FWP. Zulu-Sierra Foxtrot Whisky Pappa.

Historic, total time 0.3. Which is 15 minutes. Why the excitement you ask? As I will explain, Piaggo Aerospace is one of the oldest motor or tech companies in the world, with its history going back to 1884. Unfortunately, the aviation arm is now bankrupt. More about this matter below. But first, a memory.

It’s Spring in Johannesburg, temperature  30˙,  really hot on 21st October 2008. and the plane had not flown for a year and flight instructor Russell Donaldson busied himself around the hangar checking the “warbird”. The D149 single engined “beastie” as Russell called it was manufactured after the Second World War, and it smelled of old oil, ageing leather and hot aluminium.

No pictures exist of that day, just this entry in my logbook. Russell would probably just shrug anyway, he’s flown just about everything with wings since he took off in 1962.

The year of my birth.

2008-10-21 – D149 Piaggio – ZS FWP

We were far too busy that morning at Rand Airport ensuring that this aged plane would actually get us off the ground in weather that was both hot and high. Being a rookie, my role was to hand tools to Russell who spent more than an hour going over the log book, the engine, and the plane. We weren’t entirely certain it would start.

But FWP turned over and purred like a big cat. Its thundering engine made the seats tremble, the Lycoming GO-480 B1A6 flat-six geared piston engine blasting away.

I must admit I was nervous, yet all my job entailed was to flip the undercarriage lever up and keep a close eye on the oil pressure, and a little radio comms. Russell was going to heave the “beastie” into the air and needed every ounce of focus on the aircraft.

The run up took 15 minutes as we listened  for any sign of engine trouble. It also gave the Lycoming time to heat up so that any oil leaks or fuel fires would hopefully start now, if they were to start at all.

No fires. We’re off.

Russell taxied out to runway 350 and turned left at the threshold instead of right, saying he wanted as much runway as possible. He also knew that at the end was a golf course, a couple of warehouses, and mine dumps. If we had to go down, rather there than towards suburbia on runway 290.

Runway 350 is 4800 feet long and 50 feet wide – 1463 x 15 meters. That’s not a lot of space for mistakes.

We began the 4750 run from the very edge of runway 350.

My heart was in my mouth as the old warbird gathered speed, and finally 70 knots – ROTATE!

Screenshot 2018-12-04 at 17.13.17
This map points due north (at the top), therefore, runway 350 is the one starting near the word “Google” middle/bottom and ending near the golf course, top left. Where we scared some blokes with clubs. 

As the wheels left the tar I flipped the undercarriage lever up and fixated on the oil pressure and temperature gauge. All good so far.

We just cleared the trees and I saw golfers eyes flash past below. That was low.

After we climbed to 6500 feet Russell said “You’ve got her” and I held the stick. No yoke or side lever here it was just good old fashioned stick between the legs stuff.

A few minutes later we were in Lanseria Airspace, Russell took over, undercarriage down, land.

Screenshot 2018-12-04 at 16.50.27
FAGM to FALA – whack whack. Done. 

What an experience on so many levels. But this tale has a sad ending. Piaggio Aviation, you see, have just declared business rescue – the company is bankrupt.

Which is confusing because Piaggio also produces the wonderful moped known as Vespa which is a roaring success.

Founded in 1884, Piaggio Aero Industries is one of the world’s oldest aircraft manufacturers and has always designed unusual planes. Probably the most unusual is its final plane, the flagship P180 Avanti II, a twin-engine, turboprop executive aircraft known for its “distinctive styling, spacious interior and low fuel consumption”.

The main problem, however, has been the business of aviation. There’s no doubt the Avanti II is the best of its kind in the world.

The company manufactured in short bursts, and that was its achilles heel. For example, the Avanti Evo is one of the best looking planes ever built. Yes, beauty is sometime in the eye of the beholder, but here’s a picture.

Screenshot 2018-12-04 at 17.38.03

Here’s another :

Screenshot 2018-12-04 at 17.38.15
Wiping saliva from desk beautiful .. .the Piaggio Evo. 

The Avanti II producer is now insolvent, in special administration. That is despite being bought by a Sheik. Well, by Mubadala, an investment fund based in Abu Dhabi, UAE. 

This is a real pity for world aviation and pure blooded brilliant aviation design. The company was busy with unmanned reconnaissance aircraft design too, called The Hammerhead. As you can see, the Evo is pretty much a Hammerhead.

Piaggio are probably more famous for the Vespa, through the official motoring company Piaggio & C. SpA. They produce seven brands, including the Vespa, Gilera, Aprilia, Moto Guzzi, Derbi and Scarabeo.

Quite a change from a company that was formed to build locomotives and railway carriages.

As with all Italian mechanical engineering companies, at first the company build defence type machines too. Like motorboats, then anti-submarine motorboats, aeroplanes, seaplanes, and onwards to land.

Between 1937 and 1939 Piaggio broke 21 world aviation records for both aircraft and engine design. The most feared for allies was the Piaggio-P.108 bomber.

That attracted attention, and in 1940 the company’s Pontedera plant was flattened by Allied bombing. After the war, the company diversified and the MP5 or Paperino (Italian name for Donald Duck) was born. All because the first Vespa was so strangely shaped.

After a few rejigs, the Vespa proper (which means wasp) was born, and by the sixties, more than a million of these fund bikes were rolling around Europe.

And Italians got a new word – “vespare” which means to go around on a Vespa.

But I must say I’m rather sad. The fantastic Piaggio D149 that I flew across Johannesburg in 2008 remains in my memory for its pure-bred power and excitement.

One of these is still around in South Africa, the ZS-FWP that I flew has been altered to a ZU-FWP non-type certified and is hangared last I heard at Baragwanath airfield.

Screenshot 2018-12-04 at 16.06.34
The latest Wasp – electric. Don’t tell Donald Chimp. 

Air India Drunk Pilot Hiccup and another Naughty Gupta Hair Of The Dog


Screen Shot 2018-11-13 at 07.15.00
Arvind Kathpalia Facebook mug shot. 

Not sober. That was how Captain Arvind Kathpalia was described after he tested positive for alcohol levels in his blood that would have floored a college drinking club master of the CH3CH2OH before an Air India flight AI-111 from Delhi to London.

The drunk was supposed to fly a 787 Dreamliner with about 300 passengers on board.

No doubt it was sobering for these 300 upon hearing their great and glorious chief aviator had been saved from himself by a simple puff into a plastic straw.

It’s the second time in less than two years that Kathpalia was apparently poegaai before a flight. Just to add insult to injury for South East Asian aviation buffs, Captain Kathpalia is also a board member at Air India and in charge of air operations.

Or was.

The mid-afternoon flight was delayed while a stand-by pilot was called in, and Kathpalia is now shamed across the country. This should never have happened, he should have been removed from the roster a year ago when he crooked a breathalyser test and was caught red-handed on CCTV.

What must come as a bit of a shock is that (ex)-Captain Kathpalia was promoted into the position of overall command of Air India operations in January 2017. That was only two months before he was blotto in Delhi the first time around.

Screen Shot 2018-11-13 at 07.16.21
Look carefully. Is that Captain Arvind Kathpalia slumped in the left seat? Can’t tell. ©Facebook 

It’s a year later and he’s blotto again.

Worse news still, every year at least twenty pilots are grounded for failing the breathalyser test according to the Times of India.

It also reports while its a crime to drive under the influence in India, its not a crime to fly under the influence.

Yes, the aviation authorities can suspend you, but there is no criminal charge. Which is why pilots continue to try to fly while babelaas because they haven’t experienced the delights of Delhi or Mumbai correctional service system.

It’s only when you’re punished that you stop doing bad things. In South Africa you’re arrested as a driver and flung into penitentiary and that’s as a driver, while as a pilot a dronk gat aviator would be suspended immediately and probably lose his/her license.

As soon as we begin to fly as student pilots, the instructors are on the lookout  for drug and alcohol abuse. They lean towards you before each flight, subtly checking your eyeballs and during the briefing, and reminding you that alcohol is a poison.

They tell you stories of the hippie from Durban who partook assiduously of a delicate herb and  was last heard on radio reporting he was flying in an easterly direction out of Virginia Airport in heavy clouds and singing “No coastline no cry”.

Wreckage never located.

The little ditty pilots recite is “8 hours between bottle and throttle”.

According to FAA rules :

A pilot may not attempt to fly an aircraft or even attempt to be a crew member of a civil aircraft 1:

  • Within 8 hours after consuming alcohol;
  • While under the influence of alcohol;
  • While under the influence of any drug that impairs a person in a way which is is contrary to safety;
  • While having a blood alcohol concentration equal to or greater than 0.04 grams per decilitre of blood or grams of alcohol per 210 litres of breath.

Airlines can deny you boarding rights if you’re drunk AS A PASSENGER.

If you have six beers and then a few shooters, let say three, that amounts to a binge. This takes up to 72 hours to work out of your system fully. Yes, 8 hours later you are what appears to be sober, but the hangover you’re enduring is actually the alcohol slowly squeezing out of your body.

Imagine a pilot experiencing babelaas followed by moderate to severe turbulence.


(ex)-Captain Kathpalia was previously caught cheating the system in March 2017 when he was asked to breath into an “anayzer” and refused, leaping aboard his plane instead.

The Delhi to Bengaluru flight AI-174.

When he landed back in Delhi later that day, he entered the testing office and made a false entry in the log book but was caught on CCTV.

The Indian Pilots Union filed a complaint against Kathpalia and his possible bottle buddy,  former joint Director General of Civil Aviation in India, Lalit Gupta, who appeared to cover for him during his hearing.

Eventually Kathpalia was suspended for 5 months, but miraculously Gupta and his ilk signed him back into the left-hand all powerful Captain’s chair and back into his job as head of Air Operations after a paltry three months.

Ja-nee, all you need is high friends in places.

Lukla Airport, Nepal. No drunks allowed. 

Hangovers are not for pilots. The main symptoms of a hangover are exactly what you want to avoid as a passenger, let alone a pilot.

Drinking all night then trying to fly 300 people to another country is not just stupid, its criminal.

Hangovers cause mood swings, they cause a drop in blood sugar, dehydrate you, cause sleep deprivation, increases the heart rate and leads to a loss of focus.

It also causes shaking and a sensitivity to light. Dr. Lindsay Henderson who’s a psychologist quoted by Insider says hangovers include “dehydration and a drop in blood sugar, both of which have distinct physical symptoms that include dizziness, nausea, fatigue, muscle weakness, shaking, numbness, racing heart, and confusion.”

Not what Captain Biggles wants as she begins the steep descent into Nepal’s notoriously dangerous Lukla Airport in the Himalayas, throwing up into the little bag and shivering while wishing for hair of the dog.


Lion Air horror show continues with flight JT610

Screen Shot 2018-10-30 at 15.51.17

This blog has complained frequently of the uselessness of Indonesian Aviation authorities.

The latest is ANOTHER Lion Air incident which also happens to be the worst air crash of 2018.

One hundred and eighty nine people are dead.

If there is one thing you must know deep in your marrow, dear reader, it is this:

Do not fly on any Indonesian low cost airline if you value you or your family’s life. 

Australia, which admitted isn’t Indonesia’s closest chommie*, has banned its officials from flying on Lion Air with immediate effect, along with the company’s two other related airlines.

“Following the fatal crash of a Lion Air plane on 29 October 2018, Australian government officials and contractors have been instructed not to fly on Lion Air. This decision will be reviewed when the findings of the crash investigation are clear,” said Australia’s Federal Authority on October 30th.

Here is a list of Lion Air incidents over the past decade and a bit for those who think this blog is surrendering to anti-Indonesian propaganda.

  1. On 14 January 2002, Lion Air Flight 386, a Boeing 737-200 crashed after trying to take-off with an incorrect flap configuration at Sultan Syarif Kasim II International Airport. Everyone on board survived but the aircraft was written off
  2. On 30 November 2004, Lion Air Flight 538, a McDonnell Douglas MD-82, crashed in Surakarta with registration PK-LMN (c/n 49189); 25 people died.
  3. On 4 March 2006, Lion Air Flight 8987, a McDonnell Douglas MD-82, crashed after landing at Juanda International Airport. Reverse thrust was used during landing, although the left thrust reverser was stated to be out of service. This caused the aircraft to veer to the right and skid off the runway, coming to rest about 7,000 feet (2,100 m) from the approach end of the runway. There were no fatalities, but the aircraft was badly damaged and later written off.
  4. On 24 December 2006, Lion Air Flight 792, a Boeing 737-400, landed with an incorrect flap configuration and was not aligned with the runway. The plane landed hard and skidded along the runway causing the right main landing gear to detach, the left gear to protrude through the wing and some of the aircraft fuselage to be wrinkled. There were no fatalities, but the aircraft was written off.
  5. On 23 February 2009, Lion Air Flight 972, a McDonnell Douglas MD-82 landed without the nose gear at Hang Nadim International Airport, Batam.
  6. On 9 March 2009, Lion Air Flight 793, a McDonnell Douglas MD-90-30 (registration PK-LIL) ran off the runway at Soekarno–Hatta International Airport. No-one was injured.
  7. On 2 November 2010, Lion Air Flight 712, a Boeing 737-400 (registration PK-LIQ) overran the runway on landing at Supadio AirportPontianak, coming to rest on its belly and sustaining damage to its nose gear. All 174 passengers and crew evacuated by the emergency slides, with few injuries.
  8. On 13 April 2013, Lion Air Flight 904, a Boeing 737-800 (registration PK-LKS; c/n 38728) from Bandung to Denpasar with 108 people on board, crashed into the water near Denpasar/Bali while attempting to land. The aircraft’s fuselage broke into two parts. While Indonesian officials reported the aircraft crashed short of the runway, reporters and photographers from Reuters and the Associated Press indicated that the plane overshot the runway. All passengers and crew were evacuated from the aircraft and there were no fatalities.
  9. On 6 August 2013, Lion Air Flight 892, a Boeing 737-800 (registration PK-LKH; c/n 37297) from Makassar to Gorontalo with 117 passengers and crew on board, hit a cow while landing at Jalaluddin Airport and veered off the runway. There were no injuries.
  10. On 1 February 2014, Lion Air Flight 361, a Boeing 737-900ER (registration PK-LFH; c/n 35710), from BalikpapanSultan Aji Muhammad Sulaiman Airport to Ngurah Rai International Airport in Denpasar/Bali via Juanda International Airport in Surabaya, with 222 passengers and crew on board, landed hard and bounced four times on the runway, causing a tail strike and substantial damage to the plane. There were no fatalities, but two passengers were seriously injured and three others had minor injuries.
  11. On 20 February 2016, Lion Air Flight 263 from Balikpapan Sultan Aji Muhammad Sulaiman Airport to Juanda International Airport in Surabaya overran the runway on landing, with no injuries. The National Transportation Safety Committee investigation into the incident found that failures in crew resource management led to improper landing procedures, and recommended that Indonesian airlines improve pilot training.
  12. On 2 April 2017, about 300 litres of fuel spilled on the tarmac at Juanda International Airport in Surabaya. Pictures taken by passengers on board showed fuel pouring out of one of the aircraft’s wings. Shortly after, all passengers were evacuated and the plane was grounded for further investigation. No casualties were reported. That same day a representative from Lion Air was summoned by the Indonesian Transport Ministry to clarify the incident. An early statement by a Lion Air representative said that the leak was caused by a non-functioning safety valve and overflow detector.
  13. On 29 April 2018, Lion Air Flight 892, a 737-800 (registration PK-LOO), made a runway excursion at Jalaluddin Airport after landing under heavy rain conditions, resulting in the main nose gear to collapse. There were no fatalities.
  14. On 29 October 2018, Lion Air Flight 610, a 737 MAX 8, crashed in the Java Sea 13 minutes after takeoff from Jakarta, with all 189 passengers and crew onboard missing, presumed dead.

If you’re not convinced that I am correct about the dire warnings, then you have the self-preservation characteristics of a Kamikaze pilot.

Never allow your loved one’s anywhere near one of these carriers. Everyone wants to fling their sallow & pasty bods into one of Bali’s lovely seascapes, and some are lured by these nefarious low cost snake oil aviation companies.

Do not play with your life dear reader.

Avoid Indonesian low cost airlines like the plague. Pay the additional fee and fly Emirates or Qantas or British Airways or Ethiopian Airlines or South African Airlines.

Indonesian aviation has been a sea of lies, a swamp of corruption, a mosh pit of nepotism.

This crash comes only months after it received a positive safety rating following an ICAO audit.  This incident may reverse the rating.

Indonesian aviation authorities were previously criticized for poor management and safety. An EU ban on Lion Air was only lifted in 2016 after numerous incidents like those outlined above. After the investigation which will follow, perhaps it will find its name amongst those blacklisted once more.

And now, another 189 people have died.

Perhaps the Boeing concerned experienced engine problems. Perhaps the maintenance crew failed to connect A to B.  Perhaps pitot covers were left on. Perhaps … perhaps.

Indonesian aviation has grown incredibly quickly over the past two decades as its economy thrives. There are a remarkable 17 000 islands that make up this nation, and now it needs a proper aviation authority with a proper code of conduct for such a vast network of airports. The old boy network of winking officials must be caustically removed as a matter of urgency.

And the men who’ve facilitated a poor attention to aviation detail need to go to jail.

*Chommie: South African for “pal” or “mate”.